Blessed with defeats

Defeat is a word which does not find place in great men’s dictionary, but sometimes defeat becomes a delightful feat not only for the great men but for an ordinary person too. Although defeat, if it pushes one into self appraisal mode can be treated as a stepping stone yet one does not ask for more and more of such moments in life.

There are times when one very naturally starts drawing immense pleasure and pride in getting defeated and vies for many more such moments. This may sound strange but getting defeated at the hands of children right from their infancy stage is experienced and relished by all. I remember and can still visualise how ecstatic my son used to feel when competing a race with him, I used to get deliberately defeated to pump him up and encourage him to regularly take milk in his diet. The milk time at night was also full of competitive spirit and kids were encouraged to finish their contents a head of their father and inflict defeat on him which they unfailingly did. Those defeats bestowed upon parents used to fill the kids with the unique sense of achievement and brew immense contentment in elders. Such exercises are hopefully put to practice in almost every household in one form or the other.


When my son scored 89 per cent in his 10^thstandard exam, he was although not satisfied with his performance, my father remarked “My grandson, today you have defeated not only me but others in the family too as you have surpassed every one, as far as your marks are concerned.” Yes we stood there defeated, but that defeat filled in us a distinct feeling of pride and we silently prayed for many more such defeats in life. Subsequently when my son, soon after completing his post graduate degree in management got placed on a handsome salary package in a reputed company, my father  wrote to him “Another defeat for your father, your chacha and your grandfather too, as you have once again surpassed everyone in the family as for as your position and package is concerned.

 I acknowledged that defeat with folded hands, thanking God for such blissful moments.

I remember the day when my first ‘Middle’ under the title ‘Inner beauty’ was published in the columns of The Tribune; my father was the first one to read it and very proudly came upstairs to inform me regarding that. Throughout the day he was busy telling his friends very proudly that his son, although a man of commerce has defeated his father, a man of English.

Recently I completed my doctorate and when I bowed to touch the feet of my father telling him that finally I have been awarded PhD degree his instant remark with a distinct spark in his eyes was “Once again I stand proudly defeated by my son and planted a kiss on my forehead. With tears in his eyes he gently prayed that the younger generation should continue providing the elders with such privileged moments of pride.

My son got married in January this year and is settled in Mumbai. My father went there to stay with the couple and oblige them with the sweetness of his company. My son messaged me on ‘Whats app’ a photograph of nicely garnished ‘besan ka poora’, cooked by my daughter in law, a dish which is very common in our breakfast menu and is favourite one of Dada- the King. The message read-‘Besan Ka Poora’ by Priyanka beats chachi and mommy both- A verdict by DADA’. I instantly sent him the reply which said “another defeat for Dada as my daughter in law defeats and surpasses his daughters in law’. My wife very proudly acknowledged this defeat and lost no time in congratulating her and proudly informing others in the family, of the culinary traits of her daughter in law. My father replied ‘May God bless every one with such delightful moments of defeat.’ Such defeats are beyond any doubt delightful feats to be relished only by the blessed ones.

DR SANJEEV TRIKHA