But, for the Butts

Certain subtle and elegant looking gaps and distances creep in a very natural way as for as relationships in Indian society are concerned. Such regards and differences based on elder-younger parameters are supposed to be honored and maintained to further aromatize such relations. Relations on elder and younger parameters blossom despite maintaining and honoring these formal gaps.

 Although I have always been against these distances, perhaps because I have never been subjected to such formalities and protocols in my family yet fear of falling in the eyes of a person who rises above such formalities and is friendly despite age gap, is a unique one which restricts and guides me in testing times. Carrying the traditions in the family, I have also developed a unique, friendly and open relationship with my son.  This friendly ‘aura’ is not limited to him only; it has naturally got extended to his friends too. His friends (A group of 12) used to call me at regular intervals during their stay at Punjab University hostels. The relationship with his friends became so informal, that some of them used to ask me over phone, for some catchy lines to be written on the bouquets and gifts for their girl friends. I used to readily oblige them as this gave me a chance to earn accolades for my otherwise confined poetry.  One day they planned a rendezvous at my residence to which I instantly agreed. Everyone including me and my wife were so ecstatic and excited that we started planning and those people started counting the days for the D day.

 The party on the day moved from discussion on intricacies of share market, to sports, to business ethics and plans, to literary writings of Khushwant Singh, to the music of Rehman and ghazals of Jagjit Singh, of course smartly studded with gourmet delicacies and dishes served with the touch of motherly love by my wife. Amidst all this I noticed some of the boys making brief exits. Initially I thought they were going to honor the call of nature. On return their eye contact with the rest gave me the inkling that something was being hidden from me. On my formal inquiry they could not dare to conceal further and disclosed that they were going out for smoking, as some of them were habitual smokers. I pounced over the chance and thought of imprinting the much needed advice on the emotionally moist soil of their hearts. I tactfully told them the hazards of smoking and finally persuaded them to quit . They promised in unison not to smoke again.

At around 2.00 AM when the mehfil finally came to end, I had an immense feeling of satisfaction and pride not because everyone enjoyed but because of the derived promise which filled in me a rare sense of achievement. Satisfied and contented I embraced the sleep. Next morning we formally bade them good bye with everyone promising to be in touch irrespective of where they were placed.

As usual my college being at the walking distance, I started on foot for my morning class. A few steps and my hopes lie shattered in the form of cigarette butts which were beyond doubt thrown from the roof top. I stood stunned there for a moment, regained myself and mustered courage to collect them all, 38 in counting.

Promises made overnight lie scattered in pieces along with my sentiments, hopes and faith in myself. I wrote to each one of them and told them how much hurt and injured I felt at finding those broken promises in the form of cigarette butts. Still carrying some hope I appealed to them that whenever in their lives they come out of this dirty habit, they would be free to call me. In return I promised them to return their respective share of stinking butts which have gone a long way in putting many  ‘buts’ in our relationships. Time has passed and is passing rapidly.  I feel lucky to be in retouch with all of them except two.  As promised I have unloaded my burden and returned to them their respective share of filth. Still some pieces are left but certainly not sans hope. The box containing these butts still stinks and teases me badly. I am waiting for the day when it is emptied and the fragrance of hope, belief and trust oozes out……….

DR SANJEEV TRIKHA